The Totally-Not-Corrupt Empire of Ancient Troll-tec is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Trolltico Tetokatiu with an iron fist, and notable for its keen interest in outer space, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 5.044 billion Ancient Troll-tecs are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Troll-noch. The average income tax rate is 93.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Ancient Troll-tec economy, worth a remarkable 1,381 trillion Chocolate Trolls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Furniture Restoration, and Door-to-door Insurance Sales. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 273,884 Chocolate Trolls, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Cubicles often double as graves as citizens literally work themselves to death, couch potatoes are considered to be model citizens, declaring that "some kids are just born evil" is not endearing Trolltico Tetokatiu to progressive thinkers, and it is illegal to carry an umbrella when the official weather forecast predicts a sunny day. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Ancient Troll-tec's national animal is the Enchilada, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Trollmatilistli.

Ancient Troll-tec is ranked 293,711^th in the world and 11,314^th in Lazarus for Most Cultured, scoring -16 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.